Getting Ready for Mediation: What You Need to Know

A simple guide to help you walk in prepared and walk out with less stress.

If you're headed into mediation for a family matter—like divorce, custody, or anything else that feels a little overwhelming—you’re already taking a huge step in the right direction. Mediation is all about finding solutions without the drama of the courtroom. It’s a calmer, more respectful way to work through tough stuff.

But let’s be real: showing up without a clue of what to expect or how to prepare can make things more stressful than they need to be. So let’s talk about what you can do before your session to make sure you’re ready—and to give mediation its best shot at working.

So, What is Mediation?

Think of it like this: mediation is a conversation, not a confrontation. You and the other person will sit down (often in separate rooms, with the mediator going back and forth) to try to find common ground. The mediator helps keep the conversation on track, offers structure, and works to keep things respectful. But—they’re not a judge. And they can’t give legal advice. That’s why it’s usually a good idea for each of you to have your own attorney there, just to make sure you’re not agreeing to something you’ll regret later.

Step 1: Know What’s On the Table

Are you talking about parenting time? Child support? Splitting property? It’s important to walk into the session knowing what issues need to be worked out. You don’t have to have all the answers—but having a general sense of what matters to you will help a lot.

Step 2: Bring the Basics With You

Mediation isn’t court, so you don’t need a suitcase full of paperwork. But having some key info ready can really help:

• Income or budget info

• Schedules, especially if kids are involved

• Any past agreements or court orders

• A list of what you'd like to discuss or propose

This helps the mediator (and your lawyer, if you have one) understand where you’re coming from.

Step 3: Think About What You Want—And What You Can Let Go

Here’s a helpful trick: divide your priorities into three categories—must-haves, nice-to-haves, and dealbreakers. Mediation is about compromise, not winning. If you know what really matters to you—and what you’re flexible on—it’ll be much easier to reach an agreement that works.

Step 4: Check In With Yourself

This one’s big. Before mediation, try to center yourself. Deep breath. Yes, emotions may run high—especially if there’s hurt or frustration involved—but remember: the goal is to move forward, not rehash the past.

It’s okay to feel nervous or even angry. Just don’t let those feelings make the decisions for you. Come in with the mindset of solving a problem—not proving a point.

Step 5: Understand the End Game

If you and the other person come to an agreement, it’ll be written up as a Mediated Settlement Agreement (MSA). That’s a formal document, and once it’s signed, it’s usually binding. So don’t treat it like a casual handshake—it’s more like a contract.

If you don’t reach an agreement, no worries. The mediator will file a report saying there was an impasse, and you’ll move forward with your case in court. Nothing you said during mediation will be used against you later—it’s all confidential.

Let’s Wrap It Up

Mediation isn’t magic—but it is one of the most powerful tools out there for people who want to move on with their lives without more conflict. It takes a little preparation, some openness, and a willingness to meet in the middle.

If you’re ready to see how mediation can work for your family, we’re here to help. Contact SonjaSimsMediation to learn more or schedule your session. We’re ready when you are.