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Writer's pictureSims Purzer

Mediation Mistakes That Prevent Settlement

Mediation | Sonja Sims Mediation

Mediation is an effective way to resolve family law disputes, but certain common mistakes can derail the process. Avoiding these pitfalls can help make mediation smoother and increase the chances of reaching a successful settlement.


Failing to Prepare for Mediation


Preparation is fundamental for mediation to work. Every party needs to know the mediation’s time and place, and key decision-makers, along with their attorneys, must attend on time. Reviewing the rules of mediation in advance is also essential to ensure everyone understands that their attendance and participation are mandatory.


Before mediation, all settlement options should be thoroughly discussed among the parties and with their attorneys. Legal counsel should meet and discuss opening statements and key points before the mediation begins. Ideally, each party and their attorney should draft a list of terms or issues they want in the Mediated Settlement Agreement (MSA) to share with the mediator.


Introducing New Information Too Late


Mediation is not the time to spring surprises. A successful mediation relies on transparency, so if a settlement offer has been made before the session, altering it during mediation may create distrust. Any last-minute changes can lead to skepticism and make parties question the sincerity of reaching an amicable resolution. For mediation to work effectively, all parties must feel confident in their understanding of the issues and prepared to negotiate.


Choosing an Inexperienced Mediator


Selecting a mediator experienced in your case type is critical. A mediator familiar with family law issues is much more suitable for a divorce or custody case. Parties need to trust the mediator to convey their positions clearly and facilitate movement toward agreements. Mediators sometimes share insights about a party’s position to help bridge gaps in understanding. Trust that an experienced mediator will respect confidentiality while using context to encourage compromise.


Lacking Realistic Expectations


Understanding the legal framework and the potential outcomes in court is essential. Knowing both best and worst-case scenarios helps foster compromise. If an initial offer is far from a reasonable final position, it may cause the other party to question the sincerity of the offer. Extreme positions or statements like “This is my best and final offer” too early in the process can hinder progress and lead to impasses. The goal of mediation is to keep negotiations moving toward a solution, even if it means making calculated adjustments. Only the mediator can officially declare an impasse and release the parties, so avoid premature ultimatums.


Not Truly Seeking Settlement


Sometimes, a party enters mediation with the intent to proceed to court, especially when they have an aggressive litigator on their side. While litigation has its merits, mediation isn’t about winning; it’s about collaboration. Unlike in court, mediation allows parties to participate actively, share their concerns, and express how they would like their interests met. If the focus remains on personal grievances rather than resolution, mediation becomes ineffective. Even if a complete agreement isn’t possible, consider drafting a partial MSA to narrow down the issues that will go to court.


Reaching Out to Our Mediation Team


If you’re ready to approach mediation with an open mind and a willingness to resolve issues, our team at SonjaSimsMediation is here to support you. We specialize in family law mediation and can guide you through each step of the process to help you find common ground. Contact us today to learn more about how we can assist with your mediation needs.


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