6 Steps to Take Before Choosing Mediation Over Court

If you're going through a divorce, custody issue, or another kind of family conflict, chances are you've heard of mediation. It's often pitched as a less expensive, less combative alternative to going to court—and it absolutely can be. But how do you know if mediation is right for you?

Before you jump in, here are a few important steps to take to help make sure mediation actually works for your situation.

1. Understand What Mediation Is (and Isn’t)

Mediation isn’t a courtroom, and your mediator isn’t a judge. Mediation is a private, voluntary process where a neutral third party (the mediator) helps both sides talk things out and try to reach an agreement. The mediator won’t take sides, give legal advice, or force a solution.

This means if you're hoping for someone to "rule" in your favor, mediation probably isn’t the right route. But if you're open to compromise and want more control over the outcome, it can be a great fit.

2. Ask Yourself: Are You (Both) Willing to Talk?

For mediation to work, both parties need to be open to having honest, respectful conversations. You don’t need to agree on everything (that’s what the mediation is for), but you do need to be willing to participate in good faith.

If either person is completely unwilling to listen or engage, or if there’s a big power imbalance (like a history of family violence), mediation may not be appropriate—or may require special safeguards.

3. Talk to a Lawyer First

Even though mediators help people reach agreements, they don’t represent either side. A good mediator stays neutral. That means they can’t tell you if something is in your best legal interest. That’s why it’s a smart move to talk to a family law attorney before going into mediation—and ideally, have one present with you during the session.

An attorney can help you understand your rights, what outcomes are reasonable, and what to watch out for in any proposed agreement.

4. Gather the Right Documents

Preparation can make or break your mediation session. Think of it like packing for a trip—you don’t want to show up empty-handed. Depending on your case, you might need:

• Financial documents (pay stubs, tax returns, bank statements)

• Parenting schedules

• Previous court orders or temporary agreements

• A list of your goals and priorities

Being organized helps the session move faster and smoother—and shows you’re ready to get things done.

5. Choose a Mediator You Can Trust

Not all mediators are the same. Some specialize in family law, others don’t. Some offer online sessions, others meet in person. You want someone who’s experienced in the kind of dispute you’re having—and who makes you feel heard.

Look for someone who explains the process clearly, maintains neutrality, and makes space for both parties to be comfortable. A good mediator creates an environment where respectful dialogue can happen—even in high-stress situations.

6. Set Your Expectations

No, you probably won’t walk out of mediation getting everything you want. But if both sides are willing to compromise just a little, you might walk away with something more valuable: peace of mind, control over the outcome, and a faster resolution.

So take a breath. Mediation isn’t about “winning.” It’s about moving forward.

Ready to Take the First Step?

Choosing mediation is a powerful decision—it means you’re looking for solutions, not battles. You’re choosing clarity over chaos and collaboration over courtroom drama. And that’s something worth celebrating.

At SonjaSimsMediation, we’re here to make that process as smooth, respectful, and productive as possible. Whether you're facing a divorce, sorting out custody, or just need a better way to communicate, our team is ready to guide you with professionalism and heart.

Let’s make progress together. Reach out today to learn more or schedule your mediation—we’d love to help you find your way forward.